foreverandalwaysx2 on Datingish

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Saturday, 31 October 2009

Jump then fall

I never thought it was possible to laugh so much with someone.
I never thought it was possible to feel this way again.
I never thought it was possible to hear someone say "you're beautiful" so many times and really mean it.
I never thought it was possible to be so comfortable around someone.
I never thought it was possible for me to find someone who would drive me to get the new t.swift CD i wanted and then sit down and listen to it with me.

I just never thought this person would exist.

I've found him.

He would never hurt me.
We've had one fight and that's it.
We don't have stuff to fight about.

every time you smile, I smile
and every time you shine, I'll shine for you

XOXOX i love my boyfriend.

Thursday, 13 August 2009

he's got something special =]

My new boyfriend is amazing! He is perfect in every way. I don't have those intense feelings that I had for my ex but my boyfriend and I were close friends before we started dating. And I think thats for the best because we already knew so much about each other. We haven't fought or anything yet. His last girlfriend was a psycho never letting him go out and getting mad at him for no reason. And we trust each other which is the best.

My ex... he's told me that he loved me. He never once told me that when we dated for a year! He said he was afraid but he knew he wanted to. He tells me we are meant to be and he can't live without me. He told me he pictured us getting married. And yes I pictured all that as well. But things have changed. Like I feel like I gave hm so many chances. And now I don't have those feelings anymore for him. I thought I did but I refuse to not give my new boy a chance. AHh its so hard to have to sit theere and listen to someone tell you all this. I still care for him and want whats best. And I know the day I see him with a new girl, it will be hard. But we are two great people who deserve to be happy.

I am so glad that after these long 6months (can u believe it!?) post-breakup, I am finally making sense of it all and accepting it. It was the hardest thing to experience and it sucks knowing he is going through it all now. He's really depressed. He still tries to talk to me and tell me shit.

lalala but I AM HAPPY. And I am slowly and carefully falling for "R"
WISH ME LUCK<3

Wednesday, 01 July 2009

feeling the notebook

" http-equiv="Content-Type" content="text/html; charset=utf-8"> name="ProgId" content="Word.Document"> name="Generator" content="Microsoft Word 12"> name="Originator" content="Microsoft Word 12">I was stuck. I was in this place, in between my future and my past, and I wasn't sure which one I wanted more. But I guess it was only natural, you know? To dream of a summer love from long ago"

I have a new boyfriend. Very recent. We have been friends for awhile. He has always liked me but it was complicated because we were always in relationships...with the wrong people. We are two nice people. He treats me the way I should have been treated a long time ago. I like him a lot. Its been easier to me on now because me and my ex have not been talking...and although that kinda hurts its for the best. But of course yesterday was the day me and my boyfriend put it up on facebook...so my ex spent all of last night texting me how much he misses me and how there is still something there between us.

and i think there is too...
but i wouldn't leave my boyfriend for him. i don't think me and my ex could ever make it work again. too much history. so is it okay if i still have a few feelings for him?

so confused. i feel like allie did at the end of the notebook. trying to make a decision..."either way someone will get hurt"

forever and always.

Monday, 08 June 2009

It only hurts when you start pretending it doesn't.

I hate everything about you. I hate that even though its been five months, you still know how to push my buttons and make me feel so low. I'm done with it---the lies, the immaturity---all of it. You had me once, and you let me go. You made me feel like the lowest person on the face of this earth for 2 months---I gave you that power and now I am taking it back. I tried being friends with you. I knew you were seeing a new girl...and i told you that I was happy for you. But when I said something about me seeing a new guy--you said that we couldnt continue talking and beeing friends. that it was better if you were gone for "good." No it's more like you want me to be miserable! And really I don't think I deserve that. I think that this new guy I have found makes me happy, he treats me right, he wants to talk to me and treats me with a million ounces of respect. I tried being your friend but you can't do that. So I've finally realized that if I had to choose--chasing after a boy that I want to be friends with, or settling down with a guy who makes me feel special--well I choose him. You can't handle me being happy so thats not a friend. I can't believe its come to this.

SO GOOD BYE TO YOU. GOODBYE TO EVERYTHING I THOUGHT I KNEW.

Monday, 01 June 2009

in the end, you think about the beginning.

okay so summer has been great so far. me and R talk all the time. he sends me cute texts in the morning when i wake up i love it! we talk a lot, it's so easy to talk to him. i'm getting a webcam soon too so we can chat even more easily! haha hes sooo cute =] i'm going up to visit him soon. he lives 1hr 30 min away....

okay so the other part of this. its hard. i don't miss M like i used to. let me tell you what I have done:
- i've put things that i have of his, any notes i wrote to him, any pix and my journal all in a box.
- i've deleted most of the texts in my phone.

i'm scared though because as I am falling for R, I am still holding on to M. I saved the cute texts he sent me. I can't bear to try and delete them... of course he instant messaged me last night. we havent talked in awhile...it was nice but I didn't know what to talk about. I know there would never be a future with him anymore... he's damaged me beyond repair for us. i'm trying to live in the moment and enjoy R because he treats me well.

sound okay? love you datingish readers =]

http-equiv="Content-Type" content="text/html; charset=utf-8"> name="ProgId" content="Word.Document"> name="Generator" content="Microsoft Word 12"> name="Originator" content="Microsoft Word 12">As for lovers, well, they’ll come and go too. And babe, I hate to say it, most of them – actually pretty much all of them - are going to break your heart, but you can’t give up because if you give up, you’ll never find your soul mate. You’ll never find that half who makes you whole and that goes for everything. Just because you fail once, doesn’t mean you’re gonna fail at everything. Keep trying, hold on, and always, always, always believe in yourself, because if you don’t, then who will, sweetie? So keep your head high, keep your chin up, and most importantly, keep smiling, because life’s a beautiful thing and there’s so much to smile about.
-Marilyn Monroe