foreverandalwaysx2 on Datingish

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Sunday, 31 January 2010

Almost a Year Later

Dear my once lover,

Its hard to believe its been a year. I almost feel like you are dead. Its sad. This time last year I was broken. But here i sit tonight stronger for knowing you. I always said that I lived without regrets. When we broke up I questioned that. Thinking I had wasted 1 1/2 years of my life. But I didn't. I learned to love someone with my entire heart. To not hold back. To love myself. I know you loved me deep down but you sure didn't want to commit. It took you too long to realize the passion we shared. I know you are with a new girl now and I hope you don't let her get away like you did to me. I miss you sometimes and wonder where we would be if we had made it work. But then I think of the terrible things you did and said about me. And I know that isn't love. My boyfriend now isn't perfect, don't you think that. But he shows me everyday that he cares about me. I learned so much from you. You will be FOREVER AND ALWAYS my first love.

I wanna look back and remember the good stuff and appreciate what we shared. I hope you do the same.

To us.

xo

Tuesday, 29 December 2009

happy six months.

Our anniversary is today. Wish we could have celebrated together (he lives in another state)

On another note...I've been thinking about my ex recently. Just little things I miss. Is it normal? Please help...

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When you fall as fast and as
far as I did, you are no longer
yourself. You are blinded by
your heart. You breathe him
and he's all you see when you
wake up and lay your head
down. Then one day, he's gone.
The sky crashes down upon you
and you change again. You run
to the phone every time it rings,
expecting him to be there, to tell
you everything's going to be alright
and that things can be the same
as they used to. You and him,
together, forever. But only a dial
tone replies to your pleas. Oh sure
...I'll get over you...I'll live again.
But every time I see you, the
memories of all the wonderful times
we spent together flash through my
head and a little piece of me dies.

Saturday, 28 November 2009

My boyfriend and I are doing really well. Our 5 months is tomorrow. It seems like we've been together for much longer. I know its early to say it but I really hope I marry this boy. I know he's the one. We act like little kids and do the stupidest things. He laughs at my jokes that are somehow so lame. He's so special!<3

I was just thinking about my ex earlier. The one that caused me to start this datingish account. I looked at his facebook picture today and it just don't even know who that boy is anymore. It's just sad. I look back on things I've written about him being the love of my life and while he will always be my first love, he's not the last. So girls and guys out there with broken hearts, it happens for a reason. Let it be.

****To my ex, who I loved with all my heart: I am happy you have a new girl. Other girls I've heard about I wasn't a fan of. But I can see this girl is different. Heck you actually go to the movies with her! Treat her right, because she gets to have the new and improved you. The one I failed to have for 1 year.

Take care,
Me

Saturday, 31 October 2009

Jump then fall

I never thought it was possible to laugh so much with someone.
I never thought it was possible to feel this way again.
I never thought it was possible to hear someone say "you're beautiful" so many times and really mean it.
I never thought it was possible to be so comfortable around someone.
I never thought it was possible for me to find someone who would drive me to get the new t.swift CD i wanted and then sit down and listen to it with me.

I just never thought this person would exist.

I've found him.

He would never hurt me.
We've had one fight and that's it.
We don't have stuff to fight about.

every time you smile, I smile
and every time you shine, I'll shine for you

XOXOX i love my boyfriend.

Thursday, 13 August 2009

he's got something special =]

My new boyfriend is amazing! He is perfect in every way. I don't have those intense feelings that I had for my ex but my boyfriend and I were close friends before we started dating. And I think thats for the best because we already knew so much about each other. We haven't fought or anything yet. His last girlfriend was a psycho never letting him go out and getting mad at him for no reason. And we trust each other which is the best.

My ex... he's told me that he loved me. He never once told me that when we dated for a year! He said he was afraid but he knew he wanted to. He tells me we are meant to be and he can't live without me. He told me he pictured us getting married. And yes I pictured all that as well. But things have changed. Like I feel like I gave hm so many chances. And now I don't have those feelings anymore for him. I thought I did but I refuse to not give my new boy a chance. AHh its so hard to have to sit theere and listen to someone tell you all this. I still care for him and want whats best. And I know the day I see him with a new girl, it will be hard. But we are two great people who deserve to be happy.

I am so glad that after these long 6months (can u believe it!?) post-breakup, I am finally making sense of it all and accepting it. It was the hardest thing to experience and it sucks knowing he is going through it all now. He's really depressed. He still tries to talk to me and tell me shit.

lalala but I AM HAPPY. And I am slowly and carefully falling for "R"
WISH ME LUCK<3