foreverandalwaysx2's Datingish

circa 11 months

Sat, 15 May 2010 03:00:07 GMT

I AM SO HAPPY.
We have been great lately. Had one fight to overcome.
We nit-pick in a healthy way. He pinches me, i poke him, we're crabby. But its so healthy and refreshing.
I was thinking tonight about how much I love him. I am getting scared now though. We have only been dating for a year. What if we can't last to get married?

The problem I realized is that I am a planner. I schedule everything. I don't like "going with the flow" so I just have the habit of envisioning things. I just have this feeling in the pit of my stomach that he is the one for me. I am just scared because he wants to go to Med School and I fully support that! I just love him so much. I love being around him. The best part of any relationship (in my mind) is going to bed with that person and waking up in the morning (most likely to his silly alarm) and just sighing relief that its another day and you get to start it with him.

I'm only 20. Sometimes I wish we met late in life just so we could be ready. I love him with all my heart. I love doing things for him. To see him happy makes me happy.

R--i love you.

9 months happy.

Wed, 31 Mar 2010 01:02:50 GMT

My boyfriend and I celebrated our 9 months yesterday. It seems like I have been dating longer than that though. We're in that comfortable stage. It's fun. Sometimes I miss the intial romance but all that fades with time. He still acts cute as a button though! I adore him. He's my best friend.

To the boy that changed me:
I've been missing you lately. I miss that chase when you wanted me so badly. I've deleted pictures I had of you but every once and awhile I want to look at you. I miss us as a whole. I just have to slap myself sometimes because I know what you did to me. But then I question myself and think maybe you deserved another chance. I really do still care about you. Not enough to ruin what I have now but I just want you to know. I just wish we could be friends. I really do.

And thats the way I loved you...
XO

Almost a Year Later

Mon, 01 Feb 2010 03:10:01 GMT

Dear my once lover,

Its hard to believe its been a year. I almost feel like you are dead. Its sad. This time last year I was broken. But here i sit tonight stronger for knowing you. I always said that I lived without regrets. When we broke up I questioned that. Thinking I had wasted 1 1/2 years of my life. But I didn't. I learned to love someone with my entire heart. To not hold back. To love myself. I know you loved me deep down but you sure didn't want to commit. It took you too long to realize the passion we shared. I know you are with a new girl now and I hope you don't let her get away like you did to me. I miss you sometimes and wonder where we would be if we had made it work. But then I think of the terrible things you did and said about me. And I know that isn't love. My boyfriend now isn't perfect, don't you think that. But he shows me everyday that he cares about me. I learned so much from you. You will be FOREVER AND ALWAYS my first love.

I wanna look back and remember the good stuff and appreciate what we shared. I hope you do the same.

To us.

xo

happy six months.

Wed, 30 Dec 2009 00:15:14 GMT

Our anniversary is today. Wish we could have celebrated together (he lives in another state)

On another note...I've been thinking about my ex recently. Just little things I miss. Is it normal? Please help...

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When you fall as fast and as
far as I did, you are no longer
yourself. You are blinded by
your heart. You breathe him
and he's all you see when you
wake up and lay your head
down. Then one day, he's gone.
The sky crashes down upon you
and you change again. You run
to the phone every time it rings,
expecting him to be there, to tell
you everything's going to be alright
and that things can be the same
as they used to. You and him,
together, forever. But only a dial
tone replies to your pleas. Oh sure
...I'll get over you...I'll live again.
But every time I see you, the
memories of all the wonderful times
we spent together flash through my
head and a little piece of me dies.

Saturday, November 28, 2009

Sat, 28 Nov 2009 20:31:43 GMT

My boyfriend and I are doing really well. Our 5 months is tomorrow. It seems like we've been together for much longer. I know its early to say it but I really hope I marry this boy. I know he's the one. We act like little kids and do the stupidest things. He laughs at my jokes that are somehow so lame. He's so special!<3

I was just thinking about my ex earlier. The one that caused me to start this datingish account. I looked at his facebook picture today and it just don't even know who that boy is anymore. It's just sad. I look back on things I've written about him being the love of my life and while he will always be my first love, he's not the last. So girls and guys out there with broken hearts, it happens for a reason. Let it be.

****To my ex, who I loved with all my heart: I am happy you have a new girl. Other girls I've heard about I wasn't a fan of. But I can see this girl is different. Heck you actually go to the movies with her! Treat her right, because she gets to have the new and improved you. The one I failed to have for 1 year.

Take care,
Me

Jump then fall

Sat, 31 Oct 2009 21:40:39 GMT

I never thought it was possible to laugh so much with someone.
I never thought it was possible to feel this way again.
I never thought it was possible to hear someone say "you're beautiful" so many times and really mean it.
I never thought it was possible to be so comfortable around someone.
I never thought it was possible for me to find someone who would drive me to get the new t.swift CD i wanted and then sit down and listen to it with me.

I just never thought this person would exist.

I've found him.

He would never hurt me.
We've had one fight and that's it.
We don't have stuff to fight about.

every time you smile, I smile
and every time you shine, I'll shine for you

XOXOX i love my boyfriend.

he's got something special =]

Fri, 14 Aug 2009 02:16:49 GMT

My new boyfriend is amazing! He is perfect in every way. I don't have those intense feelings that I had for my ex but my boyfriend and I were close friends before we started dating. And I think thats for the best because we already knew so much about each other. We haven't fought or anything yet. His last girlfriend was a psycho never letting him go out and getting mad at him for no reason. And we trust each other which is the best.

My ex... he's told me that he loved me. He never once told me that when we dated for a year! He said he was afraid but he knew he wanted to. He tells me we are meant to be and he can't live without me. He told me he pictured us getting married. And yes I pictured all that as well. But things have changed. Like I feel like I gave hm so many chances. And now I don't have those feelings anymore for him. I thought I did but I refuse to not give my new boy a chance. AHh its so hard to have to sit theere and listen to someone tell you all this. I still care for him and want whats best. And I know the day I see him with a new girl, it will be hard. But we are two great people who deserve to be happy.

I am so glad that after these long 6months (can u believe it!?) post-breakup, I am finally making sense of it all and accepting it. It was the hardest thing to experience and it sucks knowing he is going through it all now. He's really depressed. He still tries to talk to me and tell me shit.

lalala but I AM HAPPY. And I am slowly and carefully falling for "R"
WISH ME LUCK<3

feeling the notebook

Wed, 01 Jul 2009 18:45:43 GMT

" http-equiv="Content-Type" content="text/html; charset=utf-8"> name="ProgId" content="Word.Document"> name="Generator" content="Microsoft Word 12"> name="Originator" content="Microsoft Word 12">I was stuck. I was in this place, in between my future and my past, and I wasn't sure which one I wanted more. But I guess it was only natural, you know? To dream of a summer love from long ago"

I have a new boyfriend. Very recent. We have been friends for awhile. He has always liked me but it was complicated because we were always in relationships...with the wrong people. We are two nice people. He treats me the way I should have been treated a long time ago. I like him a lot. Its been easier to me on now because me and my ex have not been talking...and although that kinda hurts its for the best. But of course yesterday was the day me and my boyfriend put it up on facebook...so my ex spent all of last night texting me how much he misses me and how there is still something there between us.

and i think there is too...
but i wouldn't leave my boyfriend for him. i don't think me and my ex could ever make it work again. too much history. so is it okay if i still have a few feelings for him?

so confused. i feel like allie did at the end of the notebook. trying to make a decision..."either way someone will get hurt"

forever and always.

It only hurts when you start pretending it doesn't.

Mon, 08 Jun 2009 14:53:59 GMT

I hate everything about you. I hate that even though its been five months, you still know how to push my buttons and make me feel so low. I'm done with it---the lies, the immaturity---all of it. You had me once, and you let me go. You made me feel like the lowest person on the face of this earth for 2 months---I gave you that power and now I am taking it back. I tried being friends with you. I knew you were seeing a new girl...and i told you that I was happy for you. But when I said something about me seeing a new guy--you said that we couldnt continue talking and beeing friends. that it was better if you were gone for "good." No it's more like you want me to be miserable! And really I don't think I deserve that. I think that this new guy I have found makes me happy, he treats me right, he wants to talk to me and treats me with a million ounces of respect. I tried being your friend but you can't do that. So I've finally realized that if I had to choose--chasing after a boy that I want to be friends with, or settling down with a guy who makes me feel special--well I choose him. You can't handle me being happy so thats not a friend. I can't believe its come to this.

SO GOOD BYE TO YOU. GOODBYE TO EVERYTHING I THOUGHT I KNEW.

in the end, you think about the beginning.

Mon, 01 Jun 2009 23:38:05 GMT

okay so summer has been great so far. me and R talk all the time. he sends me cute texts in the morning when i wake up i love it! we talk a lot, it's so easy to talk to him. i'm getting a webcam soon too so we can chat even more easily! haha hes sooo cute =] i'm going up to visit him soon. he lives 1hr 30 min away....

okay so the other part of this. its hard. i don't miss M like i used to. let me tell you what I have done:
- i've put things that i have of his, any notes i wrote to him, any pix and my journal all in a box.
- i've deleted most of the texts in my phone.

i'm scared though because as I am falling for R, I am still holding on to M. I saved the cute texts he sent me. I can't bear to try and delete them... of course he instant messaged me last night. we havent talked in awhile...it was nice but I didn't know what to talk about. I know there would never be a future with him anymore... he's damaged me beyond repair for us. i'm trying to live in the moment and enjoy R because he treats me well.

sound okay? love you datingish readers =]

http-equiv="Content-Type" content="text/html; charset=utf-8"> name="ProgId" content="Word.Document"> name="Generator" content="Microsoft Word 12"> name="Originator" content="Microsoft Word 12">As for lovers, well, they’ll come and go too. And babe, I hate to say it, most of them – actually pretty much all of them - are going to break your heart, but you can’t give up because if you give up, you’ll never find your soul mate. You’ll never find that half who makes you whole and that goes for everything. Just because you fail once, doesn’t mean you’re gonna fail at everything. Keep trying, hold on, and always, always, always believe in yourself, because if you don’t, then who will, sweetie? So keep your head high, keep your chin up, and most importantly, keep smiling, because life’s a beautiful thing and there’s so much to smile about.
-Marilyn Monroe